New Years Resolution Addendum

Dear Diary,

In lieu of recent unpleasantries, I have decided to add some additional items regarding flight travel to my list of New Years Resolutions:

  1. I will discontinue informing stewardesses that I have an “explosive device” in my underpants. Sadly, that was my last good line.
  2. I will cease grabbing my crotch at the security line, and stating loudly, “God, this shit is really uncomfortable!”
  3. I will no longer ask my seat-mates if I can borrow a lighter or some matches before I step into the plane lavatory.

Thank you. That is all.

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One Response to “New Years Resolution Addendum”

  1. Comment

    One of my favorites!

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