Archive for I think I crapped my pants…

To The Woman Who Crapped In My Car – 42 (Missoula)

Posted in Funny! with tags on March 4, 2009 by hotpoo

This is an exerpt from a recently deleted Craigslist post. I miss Missoula sometimes, specifically for this sense of humor.

Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities

To The Woman Who Crapped In My Car – 42 (Missoula)

 

Reply to: pers-1031540635@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-12, 4:21AM MST

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it
could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever
been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at Shaun Kelley’s sharing that basket of
Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was
a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked
forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t
feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that
said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny,
not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of
the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they
call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your
pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a
heated leather seat…
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more
than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in
fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Bruce

P.S. – If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

·         Location: Missoula

·         it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1031540635

 

Advertisements

“I know my rights!!!” Part 2

Posted in Funny! with tags on February 6, 2009 by hotpoo